MaximumRide XMas Parodies
by Hilt
Summary: Just came up with it on the spot, So... even if you don't like it give me your opinion! T just to be safe, Could be some Faxness, 1 MaxXAri not really but whatever, some creepy stuff... New goal for this story is 50 reviews...
1. Mutant Kids

Disclaimer: I don't own MaximumRide, JP does. Blah. R&R please! I just came up with it… and yes I do know it's creepy!

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**Flying through the air, with a flock of seven today  
Over the clouds we go, fighting all the way;  
scientists in the U.S., killing left and right,  
But what fun it is to kill any eraser in sight!**

**  
Mutant bird kids, mutant bird kids, mutants all the way!  
O what fun it is to kill any eraser in sight!**

**Mutant bird kids, mutant bird kids, mutants all the way!  
O what fun it is to kill any eraser in sight!**

**A year or two ago, I thought I'd get a life,  
And soon all my flock, was flying by my side;  
Their wings were lean and strong, fortune seemed our lot;  
that is till Jeb decided to die!  
**

**A day or two ago, the story I must tell  
I went out on the snow, and on my back I fell;  
An eraser was riding by, in a big green van,  
He laughed as there I sprawling lie but quickly drove away  
**

**Now the ground is clean, go it while you're safe  
Take the kids tonight, and sing this truthful song;  
Just get a couple wings, and sew them right on,  
Bring em' to an open sky and crack! You'll be shot down. **

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Ok, sorry if it was creepy but I just thought of it… Review please! If Iget enough reviews I'll add another song!


	2. The Scientists Song

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own MaximumRide, JP does. Here's the next song. R&R please!

P.S. I need five reviews AT LEAST to continue. If you suggest an X-Mas song in your review that you want me to make, then I'll put it in… if it doesn't come up in a chapter right away, that's because I had a different inspiration and your song might have to wait a little bit… but I'll get your song in either way. I'll stop ranting in my P.S.

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_Was: The Christmas song._

_Now: The scientists song (Sorry, but naming redone songs isn't exactly my "forte", mostly when I'm mad)._

**Old food roasting on an open fire **  
**Erasers jumping out at your nose **  
**Gay guy carols being sung by mutants **  
**And freaks dressed up like old hobos**

**Everybody knows a turkey and some **  
**killing help to make the erasers nice **  
**Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow **  
**Will find it hard to sleep tonight **

**They know that scientists are on their ways**  
**They're loaded lots of syringes and needles**  
**On their cans **  
**And ev'ry mother's **  
**Child is gonna spy to see if **  
**erasers really know how to fly **

**And so, I'm offering this **  
**Simple phrase to kids from **  
**One to ninety-two **  
**Altho' it's been said many times **  
**Many ways; "Good luck, to you"**

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Yes, I know it's strange… but hey, it rhymes (mostly), it's not as evil as the first, but it's a little creepy, I need at least five reviews and, in your review you can request a song for me to use, and know that I might not be able to do your X-Mas song right away, but in some later chapter it will be in there. Excuse my constant ranting. But I'm mad at this other boy I like! His initials are TS, and in reading he saw I heart TS on the bottom of my shoe because he wanted to find out who I liked and he told my WHOLE reading class, so I'm still in the process of yelling and plotting my revenge… -cough, cough- just forget my whole rant and you won't get confused! REVIEW PLEASE!


	3. Mutant Kid Rock

**Disclaimer: Do I seriously have to do this AGAIN?**

**James Patterson: Yes.**

**Me: Okay, I don't own MaximumRide, the wonderful Ja-**

**James Patterson: Don't forget Awesome**

**Me: Of course, I don't own MaximumRide, the wonderful, cool Jam-**

**James Patterson: Don't forget Awesome, better than you, rich-**

**Me: Now you're just pushing your luck.**

**James Patterson: Fine.**

**Me: OKAY, I don't own MaximumRide but James Patterson does, but I do own this story, please R&R, Song is dedicated to Supergirrl, Don't kill me if you hate it. It's the 4th songfic thingy I've ever done.**

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**Was: Jingle Bell Rock**

**Now: Mutant Kid Rock**

**Dedicated to: Supergirrl**

**Mutant kid, mutant kid, mutant kid's rock****  
****Mutant kid's swing and giant wings bring****  
****Flapping and blowing up bushels of fun****  
****now the mutant kid ride has begun.**

**Mutant kid, mutant kid, mutant kid's rock****  
****Giant wings flap in Sci-Fi time****  
****Flying and dieing in Evil Lab Square****  
****In the frosty air.**

**What a bad time, it's a bad time****  
****To kill the night away****  
****Sci-Fi time is a swell time****  
****To go riding in a six-kid pack****  
****Runaway mutant kid, flap your wings****  
****Fly around the night sky****  
****Mix and a-mingle with the DNA****  
****That's the mutant kid,****  
****That's the mutant kid,****  
****That's the mutant kid rock.**

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Please don't flame… just compliments, or constructive criticism is required for my writing… So, yeah… REVIEW! Please?


	4. Unholy Night

Disclaimer: I don't own MaximumRide. JP does. But I do own all of my fanfics… they're copyrighted! See! © Oh yeah… betcha' can't handle the evilness…ness!

Hate to break it to ya', but these are the exact lyrics and I don't know if the last part rhymes because I couldn't find any version with them, but the first version that I listened to these new lyrics rhymed with. So if it sounds different to you, deal with it.

**_IMPORTANT: IF YOU LIKE ANGEL AND/OR SQUAEMISH, SCARE EASILY, OR CRY EASILY, LEAVE. I'LL ADMIT THAT THIS WAS A HORRIBLY MEAN SONG. ESPECIALLY SINCE I LIKE ANGEL TOO. PEASE REVIEW. NO FLAMES (AT LEAST NOT IF THEIR JUST ABOUT OH, I CAN'T BELIVE YOU DID THAT! YOU'RE SO MEAN! ETC!)._**

P.S. I'd like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers:

Filmmakersdream

SamanthaFantasyFan

Hunty11b

Supergirrl

Azulcat

Yascarocks

Thanks for your nice reviews! Now, onto the next chapter!

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Was: Silent Night

Now: Unholy Night

Silent night, unholy night,  
all is calm, all is unright  
Round yon virgin Max and flock.  
Holy Angel so tender and mild,  
Died in horrid, brutal pain.  
Died in horrid, brutal pain.

Silent night, unholy night,  
Mutants cry at the sight,  
Erasers stream from dark skies afar,  
Heavenly mutants sing Oh my god;  
Angel the baby, is gone!  
Angel the baby, is gone!

Silent night, unholy night,  
Sister of Gazzy, cute's pure light  
Dead beams from thy holy face,  
With the dawn of redeeming grace,  
Angel, little sister, at thy birth.  
Angel, little sister, at thy birth.

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Sorry, yes I know it was mean. But I had an evil inspiration, Review Please! No flames!


	5. Voice, the annoying voice

Disclaimer: I don't own MaximumRide (JP does) but I do own all of my fanfics. Constructive criticism is fine. No flames. R&R please!

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Was: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

Now: Voice, the annoying voice

Voice, the annoying voice  
had a very annoying skill.  
And if you ever heard it,  
you would even say it needs to go.

All of the other mutants  
used to laugh and call it names.  
They never let poor Voice  
play in any fun games.

Then one foggy Christmas eve  
Voice came to say:  
"Maximum with your face so bright,  
won't you kiss Fang tonight?"

Then Maximum cursed him  
as she shouted out with fury:  
"Voice the annoying voice;  
you're going to be sorry!"

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Teehee. Okay, I know that not all of it rhymes… but I had another inspiration and I couldn't get everything to sound right. But when I sang it it went pretty well. Review please! They make my pour shriveled up soul happy! Speaking of souls…

Bart: Well if your souls real where is it?  
Milhouse: It's kinda in here... and when you sneeze, that's your soul trying to escape. Saying god bless you crams it back in. And when you die, it squirms out and flies away!  
Bart: What if you die in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean.  
Milhouse: Oh, it can swim, it's even got wheels, incase you die in the desert and have to drive to the cemetary.

Teehee.


	6. I saw Max kissing Ari last night

Disclaimer: Yes, I do own MaximumRide I'll have you know! In hard and Paper copies! Still need the audio CD… JP wrote MaximumRide though. R&R please! This was a lemon chapter. But I thought it was funny. It may be hard to sing the Ari parts if you listen to and sing the song, but it can happen. I made it. Onto my story!

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Was: I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night (Version sung by the Cheetah Girls)

Now: I saw Max kissing Ari last night

Angel's POV:

I saw Max kissing Ari  
I saw Max kissing Ari  
I did I did

I Saw Max kissing Ari, (Ari, Ari)  
underneath the mistletoe last night!  
She didn't see me creep, (no she didn't)  
around trees to have a peep! (I was quiet)  
She thought that I was tucked up  
in my blankets fast asleep. (but I wasn't)

Then I saw Max tickle Ari,  
underneath his fur so ugly brown!  
Oh, what a laugh it would have been,  
If Fang had only seen,  
Max kissing Ari last night!

Lalalalala  
Oh  
Lalalalala  
No she didn't  
Lalalala  
I was quiet  
Lalalalalalala

Then I saw Max tickle Ari,  
underneath his fur so ugly brown!  
Oh, what a laugh it would have been,  
If Fang had only seen,  
Max kissing Ari last night,  
Max kissing Ari last night!

Lalalalalalalala  
I saw Max kissing Ari and I wanna know why  
I saw Max kissing Ari and I wanna know why  
I saw Max kissing Ari (Ari, Ari)  
I saw Max kissing Ari (I know I did)  
I saw Max kissing Ari (Ari, Ari)

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This was serious lemon. But I think it's funny. Review please! Have any song suggestions? Put em' in your lovely reviews!


	7. Help Us Please

Discalimer: ... Jams Patterson owns- Oh! You people already know what goes here! But...R&R please!

.:-:.

Was: Silver Bells

Now: Help us please

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks.

Dressed in holiday style

In the air

There's a feeling

of dread

Children crying

People passing

Meeting frown after frown

And on ev'ry street corner you'll hear

Help us please, help us please

It's Christmas time in the city

Ring-a-ling, see them cringe

Soon it will be Christmas day

Strings of street lights

Even stop lights

Blink a bright red and green

As the shoppers rush

home with their protecters

Hear the bones crunch

See the kids bunch

This is Ari's big scene

And above all this bustle

You'll hear

Help us please, help us please

It's Christmas time in the city

Ring-a-ling, see them cringe

Soon it will be Christmas day

.:-:.

Okay... I hope you liked! I know, it was another creepy one... 5 reviews and I'll update right away! Also, I'm not sure how creepy (but most likely not mean... like Unholy night... which strangely we all enjoyed that song! HA!) it will be but I'm adding the chimpmunk song chapter after the next (I think) ... :)... XP... Yeah... so review please!


	8. Author's Note

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! I figured my laptop out!!! Except now I have to rewrite some stuff that was on my regular computer, buy for now, I need to ask you all a question! Do you think on this story, I should stick to christmas songs, or do ANY songs? Please review and tell me what you think! Oh, and If you do review with your oppinion (I think I spelled that right...), song suggestions are welcome! I'll try to update my stories as soon as possible!

P.S. Sorry but it will take me longer to update my stories until my regular computer is back up since my laptop doesn't (Does this ' thingy go before or after the n?!?!) have spellcheck... hehe

P.S.S. So, abbyjenna, I hope you can reply to my email I sent you asking "How the heck is this plagerism?" Actually, I bet you can't. Because THIS IS NOT PLAGERISM!!! Thank-you.

P.S.S.S. Please excuse my verrry long rant.


	9. Freaky

Okay, this isn't the best song parody thingy, but it was the best song I could think of to work with. Please tell me whether you liked it or hated it! Thanks.

P.S. I own nothing. Except for my stories, and MaximumRide books 1&2… preview type thingies of MR3 on Fang's blog!

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Was: Crazy

Now: Freaky

I guess you could say that this is in Max's POV.

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I got my wings  
There was something so horrid about that place.  
Even your wings had scars  
From too little space

And when you're out there  
With some care,  
Yeah, we were out of touch  
But it wasn't because we didn't know enough  
I wish we never knew so much

Does that make us freaks?  
Does that make us freaks?  
Does that make us freaks?  
Possibly _radio version_  
probably _album version_

And we hope that you are having the time of your life  
But think twice, that's our only advice

Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,  
Ha ha ha bless your soul  
You almost get to be in control

Well, we think you're freaky  
We think you're freaky  
We think you're freaky  
Just like us.

Our so-called hero had the heart to lose his life out on a limb (We thought)  
And all we remember is thinking, we wanted to be like him  
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun  
And it's no coincidence we've come  
And we can die when we're done

Maybe we're freaky  
Maybe you're freaky  
Or maybe we're crazy  
Probably

Uh, uh

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What did you guys think? Please tell me! This was the best thing I could figure out for a regular song at the moment… Any song suggestions? Tell me in your reviews!

P.S. Chipmunk song is next…


	10. AUTHOR'S NOTE IMPORTANTTT!

Oh my gosh... I feel sooo bad I haven't updated in sooo long. I had a chapter ready but now nonee of the things ive written are on my laptop anymore! I'm soooo sorry! I promise i'm going to update the xmas parodies, me, and possibly metting aquarius soon! SOOOO SORRRYYY! please don't hurt me...


	11. Ari the Eraser

Disclaimer: I own MR1 2 and 3! In paperback and hardback.Okay, this was REALLY hard. I tried to make the stuff sound close and everything but I couldnt make it all match up. Just sound out the stuff in your head when you read this and it may make more sense. R&R PLEASE!!!

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Was: Frosty the Snowman

Now: Ari the Eraser

For:xAkatsukideidara

Ari the Eraser

Was an evil ugly soul

With a big huge gun and a pack of wolves

And two eyes bloodshot red

Ari the Eraser

Is a fairytale they say

He was made in labs

And the children know

How he came to kill one day

There must have been some screw ups

In those old genes that they found

For when they placed them in his head

He began to run around

Ari the Eraser

Was alive as he could be

And the children say

He could fly and kill

Very unlike you and me

Ari the Eraser

Knew his time was on that day

So he said let's run

And we'll have some fun

Now before I pass away

Down to the forest

With a huge gun in his hand

Flying here and there all around the air

Saying come out when you can

He led them down the streets of town

Right to the traffic cop

And he didn't pause a moment when

He heard him holler stop (A/N: Hey, at least it rhymed and kinda almost made sense. you know, like he was chasing them down town I guess)

Ari the Eraser

Had to hurry on his way

But he shot goodbye (A/N: If you didn't get it, it's like she shot them.. goodbye. uh yeah strange. Meh.)

Saying it's my time

I wont be back for another day

Chokety choke choke

Look at Frosty go

Chokety choke choke

Chokety choke choke

Over the hills of blood


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